lots of heartbreak

just a heads up, this post is kind of a bummer post but i just feel like writing it out. life has been kind of crummy lately. and thats just putting it nicely. it has been really hard to stay positive and not just turn into a sad crazy person. 

so first off curtis' brother, alex died and it is just the saddest most awful thing. he had so much life ahead of him and he was such a fun kid. he was only 24. my kids loved him so much and he was one of their favorite things about visiting utah. they loved to run around with him and wrestle with him and he was so good with them. i miss him a lot. it breaks my heart knowing that when we go back to utah that we won't see him. it just doesn't seem fair. but thank goodness for the plan of salvation. i know he is in a better place right now and that he is no longer in pain and i know that we will see him again. but for now.. we miss him a lot.

then we moved... this was our 13th move since we got married and it was by far the hardest move and i have been struggling a bit with it. and really so has brooklynn. i made some of the best friends i have ever made in houston. i'm not kidding some of the greatest people in the world. people i could spend every day with and not get sick of because they are just that cool. and i miss them a lot. i have met a few people out here who are so great and i know it is all going to work out but i just miss my houston people so much. and brooklynn... oh man she is struggling maybe worse than me. we pulled her out of preschool 2 months early to move here and just started summer early.. so she went from being in school 3 times a week and constantly being with friends and doing activities to pretty much just hanging out at home with me and quinn and it is showing how bored she is which has been really hard.. since we moved here i haven't been the mom i want to be because my mind has just been preoccupied with other things which brings us to phase 3 of my complaining.. 

unfortunately i had another miscarriage which makes this my second one in 5 months. i'm so sad about it even though i hadn't even let myself get excited about it because i just had a feeling this was going to happen. but really it doesn't make it any better. especially being in a new place where i didn't know anyone. it happened right when i lost my awesome support group. and on top of that curtis works monday through friday from 7-6:30 and isn't even allowed to have his phone on so i cannot talk to him all day. it just made everything a little bit harder than it already was. luckily i met some people out here who were able to help me out with my surgery, and i will be forever grateful to those people.

it's so hard to stay positive when it feels like everything is going wrong around you. but i'm hoping to turn over a new leaf.. i'm hoping to start new. i need to remember all of the amazing things that i have and that dwelling on all of the bad is doing nothing but hurting me and those around me. so even though things have been rough here's to looking up.. here's to good things happening and looking for the positive! and here's to reminiscing about mexico.. i need to go back.. again.. sorry about all the complaining! 

Happy Easter!!!

happy easter, everyone! i hope everyone had a great day! 

yesterday we went over to curtis' brother house for an easter egg hunt. laura did a great job hiding all of the eggs and the girls had a blast running around the yard finding them all. it was so cute! then we had a little bbq and just hung out outside in the beautiful weather.

sunday we went to church and then went to a park we had never been to with a cute little trail next to a lake. today was a beautiful day and there was no one i would rather spend it with than my little family!

i am so grateful for my savior and that because of Him i will get to be with my family forever and ever! 

puerto vallarta, mexico

a couple of weeks ago curtis and i were lucky enough to go to mexico for a week! it was with his work and so everything was paid for which makes a vacation so much better! other than on our cruise i've never actually been out of the country so it was my first time going through customs and using my passport which was both fun and annoying all at the same time.

we had a great time! the kiddos stayed with my sister janice in california while we were gone (thanks again jan!) we did so many fun things and we also did a lot of relaxing which was really nice. the first day we got there curtis' boss scheduled all of the wives that were there an 80 min massage which was the absolute best way to start a vacation!

the next day we took a boat out to this private island where we had an amazing lunch right on the water and went paddle boarding. curtis went snorkeling while i relaxing on the beach. it was such a beautiful beach and it was amazing except for the fact that on the way there i got super sea sick so that wasn't fun. on the way back i sat at the very back and bottom level and that helped a lot.. just a little advice incase anyone who get motion sick and it planning on going on a double decker boat in the middle of the ocean any time soon.. you're welcome.

the next day we went zip lining which was seriously one of the coolest experiences i have ever had. i'm not a super out doorsie kind of person and it was a little out of my element and it was awesome. we took this little speed boat to this little town.. (i don't get motion sick on speed boats which was nice). and then we got in the back of this open type jeep thing and went off roading up the mountain. when we got off the jeep we got all of our gear on and then got on mules that took us up even farther. then we did all different types of zip lines a repels and water slides and it was amazing. repelling scared the crap out of me but i felt like i was conquering some fears and it was super freeing. i would absolutely do it again! 

the next night we went back out to that private island on that same boat, luckily i learned how to minimize my motion sickness. the island had no electricity and it was all lit up by torches and candles. it was pretty amazing. we watch this awesome acrobatic show and then ate dinner right on the water again. it was pretty incredible. 

after that we just relaxed for the last two days.. played volley ball... ate lots of food.. and had lots of fruity drinks. by the time the week was over we were more than ready to be back with our girls but it was a pretty amazing week! here are some photos.. i didn't get a lot of great ones because i didn't bring our good camera and my phone wasn't working so i rarely had it but i did take a lot of photos of the sky because in case you didn't know this about me i am obsessed with a pretty sky..

friends

i am seriously so grateful for good friends. good friends are hard to come by and i have some really great friends and i am so dang thankful for them. i think that might be one of the things i am most scared about with moving to houston. i don't know a single person who lives in houston and i am going to have to start from scratch on finding friends. 

now family, that is what is most important. i would go with curtis anywhere because as long as i'm with my little family that's really all i need. BUT, having friends i think is also important. i think it's important to be able get away with friends and talk for hours. it's scary to move to a place where those friendships are not yet developed. i'm sure i will find friends in texas and that i will love them too but it is definitely scary.

but back to my utah girls. tonight i was able to go to dinner and a movie with some of my favorite people and they made me really sad to be leaving utah. i have known these girls since my early college years and they have been with me through lots of ups and downs and i just love them so much. we are just going to have to plan girls trips in the future because i am going to miss them so much. i will miss our girls nights because they are the best. i definitely had a blast piling into my van and being silly. i'm pretty sure i've convinced them all to buy minivans!